Making Friends at 35: Why It Feels Weird (and How to Get Over It)

So you’re 35, maybe a little stuck, maybe itching for a change. You’ve read the playbook on resetting your life, but let’s be real: none of it feels complete if your social circle is stuck in 2014. Making new friends as an adult is weird. It just is. But it’s also a total game-changer if you want a fresh start that actually sticks.

1. Stop Trying to "Network"

Most adults think making friends means forced networking events or awkward small talk at the gym. Nope. Ditch the "what do you do?" vibe. Instead, look for shared activities—stuff you already enjoy (or at least want to try). Trivia night, local volunteering, a language class, pick-up soccer—whatever cuts down on forced conversation and lets you actually do something together.

2. Be the Person Who Follows Up

People say "let’s grab coffee" and then…radio silence. Don’t be that person. If you meet someone you click with, be the one who sends the text or DM. Yes, it feels a little vulnerable and yes, sometimes they’ll flake. But you only need a couple of wins to start building momentum.

3. Low-Key Consistency Beats Big Gestures

You don’t have to organize a group trip to Bali. Start small. Invite someone to check out a new lunch spot or join a recurring event (think: monthly board game night). Regular, low-pressure invites build real connection. Bonus: you’ll get known as the person who actually brings people together.

4. It’s Normal to Feel Awkward. Do It Anyway.

Adults have baggage. Everyone’s busy, tired, or Netflix-ing. But most people want more real connection—even if they won’t admit it. So send the invite. Ask the person out for tacos. The first few times will feel a little weird. That’s normal. Push through.

5. You Don’t Need Ten New Friends

Seriously, two or three real connections can change everything. Quality over quantity. Focus on people who energize you, not just anyone who seems available.

Bottom line: Resetting your life at 35 isn’t all about career pivots or minimalist closets. Sometimes, the best way to shake things up is with a new lunch buddy or someone to text when you’re having a rough day. Check out the full reset guide for more ways to get unstuck—and remember, you don’t have to do it alone.